by W King Iceberg

I’ve always been a health nut, if you count Doritos and Krispy Kreme as a nutritious breakfast. So when I had my annual nutritionist’s appointment (actually, it was my first, but I’m planning on going again, so that makes it annual) I was shocked to learn that my health report made Mr. Burns look like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

“What should I do to get in shape?” I asked my nutritionist, more disappointed than the time I was given fries instead of onion rings.

Other than PhotoShop, she suggested that I start tracking what I eat and how much I exercise, and tell her the results after a week-long trial.

So I purchased a FitBit, which is like a watch, except that a wristwatch doesn’t laugh at you everytime you eat a hot pocket. Basically, for those of you who count your life in years rather than donuts, a FitBit is a device that tracks the calories you burn. It’s like a private journalist that you pay to follow you around and make you feel ashamed of yourself whenever you aren’t running a marathon or wrestling a bear.

And yeah, apparently, watching Netflix and eating Cheetos doesn’t burn that many calories, or so my FitBit says. And as for counting the calories I ate and drank, turns out a Coke has a bit more sugar than I originally thought, roughly the equivalent of eating 10 sugar cubes. But to be fair, Coke does offer extra health benefits, such as Vitamin Phosphorous.

Either way, I began exercising more and adjusted my eating habits, even discovering a new superfood called “vege-tables.” I’m scheduled to go for my second (annual) nutritionist’s appointment in a few weeks, and already I feel happier and healthier. However, the lazier part of me wishes there was a way to count calories that doesn’t require a Computer Science degree with a minor in AstroPhysics. What do you guys find is the easiest way to track your calories?